Taboo
by xUchihacest
Summary: Madara Uchiha is facing the daily struggle of society's rejection. Secretly being in love with his best friends soon turns out to be kind of pleasantly. But at the end, he discovers something completely shocking. madahashi mitotoka higschool
1. Chapter 1

**1**

It's hard living in a world where you just don't fit in.

Growing up gay sucks, expecially adolescense when it's a time of particular anxiety and fear.

Hiding in the shadows of society..

People think i am self-absorbed or hateful because i don't share my story right away, in particular i do not socialize. People think i am depressed but i really do enjoy staying on my own, proababbly because no one understands me. No one around me knows the difference between introvert and shy. Even my own parents, even my little brother. Might be because i never gave them the chance to know me good enough and have judgemental opinion.

It all started in my childhood when i realized that i was in love with my best friend.

Coming from a fameous and rich family, has it's own pros and cos. Finances are enough for whatever you desire but along with that comes jealousity and madness. Madness of possesing.

The Uchiha's, my family's surname, were ceaselessly competing with the Senju. The Senju's where my closest friend comes from. So in general, it ment that we were kind of enemies i guess?

I remember that we'd always hide from our parents and play together even if we know the danger we are putting eachother in. But it was really enjoyable doing things together. I felt as if he was the only one understanding me, without judging. Eventhough he didn't know my sexual orentation, not that i knew it. It came slowly... as time passed i had realized my real feelings towards him but never confessed. Because i was scared.

I was scared that he'd reject me, laugh at me, humiliate me.

So i slowly started to ignore him and stray away.

You know, one of our family members was gay and once he confessed, it was as if they erased him being an Uchiha. That scared and provoced me to hide me deepest secret even more.

Few times he tried to contact me by searching me in the town and particulary in our hood, so ultimately our families finally found out about the relationship we were having.

I think i was about 14 when dad came in my room as i was doing my homework and asked me if i know that Senju boy.

Knowing what argument would be followed i denied, lying to him and myself. But fooling my feelings wasn't an easy thing, not even now.

Eventually we ended up in the same highschool and things didn't turn out good. Both of our little brothers study along with us and there would pass no day without a fight between them. Tobirama, my "ex-best friend"'s brother doesen't like me at all, probablly because he can sense i am gay? Not that i like him back either, he's way too arrogant and mean towards everyone.

My crush had brown hair that became almost reddish on the sunrays and was styled into a redicilous hairstyle, trim dished one?. With going into teenage years, he grew it out long. His chocolate brown eyes are as recless and bright as always, even of the obstacles he had faced due to responsibilities of an eldest brother. I know them very good because i am one myself. You have to be responsible, reliable, hardworking, strict, wise enough and many more. It really sucks. You have to be the example for the younger ones.

But what example could i be being a gay?

Stupid.

To be honest, i don't look like gay. I am kinda muscular and manly. There are few girls that like me and one that's inlove with me. But you know, you don't choose your sexual orientation. You're born with it, and it sucks when you have to hide it.

Anyways.

Right now i am 18 and there's one year left to finish higschool. I plan on studying History in collegue.

Most of my time at school i'd spend at the library, reading Historical books. Legends, ancient cultrues and nations are my passion. Because if you don't know your history, then you're like a leaf that doesen't know it's roots, right?

No one comes to the library and i feel fine by my own. I am not bothered by anyone, it's quiet and cousy. Sometimes dimmed but i like the atmosphere.

My name is Madara Uchiha.

And my crush name is...

Hashirama Senju.

Even after 8 years of knowing him and 5 more of rejection, i still have the same feelings towards him and it's killing me.

Because there's a girl from my class that he's inlove with.

Mito Uzumaki.

A redhead beauty that comes from the third rich and fameous familiy. The Uzumaki's.

The combination of forest green eyes and long ginger hair makes her really attractive. I do have to admit.

Sometimes impulsive and daring i don't know why Hashirama would like her so much. Maybe because of looks?

Not that i care.

I don't want even to think of it.

Because it hurts.

It really hurts.

But what can i do about it?

So yea,

im secretly being a gay.

And my crush has chocolate-brown eyes.

* * *

 **Hello, Please a review wherher you like the idea.**

 **I was inspired by few posts on tumblr about gays and i felt so pity, i coulndn't imaigine their life and what they have to struggle with daily.**

 **I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Stay tuned. muah***


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

Jeez, why would the librarian put the History books on the last shelf? Probabbly because no one found history interesting? Such dorks.

I was struggling in attempt to take the book i was desperately in need of for my following exam. I felt as if my toes won't hold me anymore due to lifting myself on them for so long.

Cursing under my breath i felt someone behind me.

Slightly turning my head back, i saw Hashirama. He was having one of those foolish smiles on his face, once again.

Oh how much i adored that smile.

"Need help?" and before being able to give him an answer, he had already streched his arm in order to lend me back the book. "Here" he gave it to me.

Avoiding eye contact as always, i slowly took it away from his hands. "Thanks" my gratitude came out quiet and kind of shyly?

I was trying my best to avoid him anywhere, at any time. But sometimes it was just impossible, since we were studying in the same highschool and even in the same class... it sucked.

Sometime's he'd try to make conversations but i always managed to neglect them.

"Madara" his voice was calm, ever soothing. "Tonight we are going with the guys out, wanna come?"

"Um... sorry" i had to come up fast with an excuse "I am going to be busy tonight"

"With what?" he raised an eyebrow "Is this one of the many excusess?"

My eyes wandered before they saw the book i was holding.

"No, why should i look for excusess? I am going to study for the History exam next week" spot on. Good lie.

I heard him sighing "Okay." he shrug his shoulders "As you wish" his right hand petted me on the shoulder "See you in the PE lesson"

I had to react somehow, so a slight nod was a good option. "See ya"

Walking past me he waved for goodbye, as i continued my way to the other section of books.

Not that i was going to get some other book but i just didn't want to go to the same direction as him.

Sniffing a little more i could smell his eau de cologne, which had dabbled to my clothes. Smiling to myself, i always liked the aroma's he'd choose. Strong fragrance, but not too officious.

As soon as he was out of the library, i headed to the same exit.

Walking down the stairs i thought for how long i haven't been out with friends.

Proabbly since i realized im gay and became way too reserved. Hiding this secret was awful experience. I wondered if there are out people like me.

* * *

"Madara" a femine voice called my name.

Siting on the gymnastic benches and putting on my sneakers, i moved my head to the right.

"What is it Toka?" that was the girl that had crush on me since the first day we entered highschool. I don't know why does she even like me. Like... Why?

"Um..." a slight blush could have been noticed on her face "the teacher told today we are going to do norms for assesments, and he had put us two in one team"

"Oh" i turned back on tying my sneakers. "Okay" as a respond, i got up and put on my sport jacket.

Standing in front of her, she was avoiding eye contact as her blush became darken.

I could have imagined how she's feeling because i feel the same towards someone else... and it's crummy.

With my range of vision i saw Mito coming into the gym class.

Welcome to her Majesty. Looking as stunning as always, now her hair was on ponytail.

She and Toka had been best friends, like me and Hashirama before. Sometimes i was jealous of their relationship. They were so close, i bet they could share everything to eachother. Sometimes they were way too close, expecially Mito. It was as if she had been wanting Toka only for herself. I guess girls were like that? Their relationship was weird but yet i envied.

"Hey guys" Mito now right beside me, smiled and greeted both of us "Today we doing norms?"

"Yea" Toka nodded, moving her gaze on her "You're teamed with Hashirama"

With Hashirama? Jeez. She had been so lucky, or let's say Hashirama, because he was the one in love with her. I hissed under my breath. Why did i still even care?

"Oh my..." Mito rolled over her eyes annoyingly "Do i have to be with Hashirama?" her face unpleasant.

"Talk with the coach then" i suggested her, trying my best to stay as calm as possible because to be honest, i never had liked her.

"Naah, i'd better skip that" sweetly laughing, she walked away heading to Hashirama who had just entered the gym.

I saw them talking as he had been starting to blush and she laugh.

Feeling my blood boiling, i told Toka to go and do our norms, so we'd finish faster. She nodded.

* * *

"Madara..." holding her ankles as i was kneeling in order to keep her stable as she was doing crunches, she started talking once again "You really won't come out with us tonight?"

Why was everyone so focused one me? I didn't want to socialize at all. Why did i have even to go out with the Senju squad?

It's true that the relationship between our families had became better after so many years and we do not spread hate, but yet... it was still weird.

"Yea"

Suddenly Toka stopped doing the crunches and sat on her bottom. "Wouldn't you come... because of me?"

Sighing, i felt even more irritated. "Toka, I-" before being able to finish my sentance, Mito came to us.

"Toka, come and let us do the rest of the trainings together" it was as if she had been pissed off. Hashirama had done something wrong probabbly.

"But-" Toka tried to resist but Mito cut her off.

"The trainer said so" her tone was threating.

Whinnig, Toka got up and started walking away with the redhead.

Rolling over my eyes, i wondered was this one of the many moments of her spoiled behaviour.

Yea, she was really spoiled.

Not her fault, being the single kid of the Uzumaki's leader, they must have indulgenced her a lot.

"What's wrong with her?" Hashirama's voice made me jump in surprise. He was standing behind me.

Fastly getting up, i removed the invisible dust from my clothes "I thought you have done something"

"Nah" Hashirama shook his head in rejection "She had been threwing few glares over both of you with Toka"

"She's some possesive and freaky one" i whishpered to myself.

"What?" Hashirama tilted his headso he could hear better.

"Nothing" i murmured.

"What did you say?" he asked once again, face curious.

"I said nothing Hashirama. Stop being annoying" hissing, i started walking away to the exit.

My view was blocked when he walked in front of me, holding me for the shoulders.

"What's wrong with you? You're always avoiding me."

"Nothing. I'm still the same" the same lie every time.

"No, Madara. You're not the same. I remember the old one, who was teasing and bubbly and smiling and-"

"I am still the same" i had to interupt him, because i already know that speech. He was going to whine about our past and bring up some stupid memories of us. Actually, was i really bubbly?

"If you have some depression, or if you're insecure, or something tortures you-"

I sharply removed away from his grip "You'd what?" i had been starting to become angry. Like he's ever know my problems. You were my problem, silly. And this problem would be never fixed, because the solution was taboo in our society.

"I'd gladly help you and be here to listen you" a small smile appeared on his face.

"Tch" moving away my gaze, i pushed him out of the way and walked out of the gym.

"Why do you even bother to care" whishpering to myself, i saw Mito and Toka laughing. They were sitting on some bench and chatting.

Sometimes i really wished i was the same with Hashirama. I miss my old friend, the one with whom i could share everything.

Unfortunatelly, everything had changed.

But the weirdest thing was that Mito would always throw me evil glares. I had never liked her, due to being... daddy's girl.

And those glares had became rapid.


	3. Chapter 3

**3**

Mito entered Chemistry with a bright smile on her face.

Pridely making her way to her seat, she was singing quietly, her hair flowing.

How could she be so perfect?

I slowly opened my school bag and got out my books and pens. I hated Chemistry... but the Uzumaki was the best student at it.

My look moved back to her, where she was three desks in front of me. The redhead sat besides Toka and showed her short new-designed nails.

"You like them?" i was capable of hearing their conversation.

"That dark green matches your eyes perfectly" the brunette answered.

"My auntie made them, you want to go too?" Mito asked even more enthusiasted "We can go together next week" jeez, as if she was obsessed with Toka.

"Um..." i think she was blushing "you know... you have the finances... but i don't have those money to spend on such things"

"Aw, come on. I will pay for you" her arm reached Toka's shoulder "we are friends, aren't we?"

What was actually the meaning of friendship?

I had lost mine with Hashirama and didn't care to make new one.

So, i never knew the real meaning of it.

"Actually..." the blue-eyed girl broke me out from my thoughts. I saw her coming closer to Mito and whishpering to her ear. I heard my name.

"What?!" Mito's eyes wide-opened. "You will ask him to go out on a date?!"she spat angrily.

"Shhh!" Toka put her own palm on Mito's mouth and her finger on her lips in sign of being shut. "Don't yell. Someone might hear us." she whishpered even quieter.

"Tsk!" Mito abruply turned away her head, as if she was angry or unpleased. "Do as you wish" her eyes locked on the opposite way, like she didn't want to look at Toka.

"Hey, are you mad at me?"

"No, but i can't understand why would you like him so much?!" Mito angrily murmured under her beath.

As i was awaiting for Toka's answer, Hashirama popped in front of my view.

"You know stalking isn't polite!" Hashirama loudly and teasingly said to me.

Toka and Mito turned their heads to us. The readhead narrowed her eyes, as if she was ready to jump on and chocke me till death, as her friend flushed red, covering her mouth in embarassment.

"I am not stalking, Ash" my answer came out coldly and reserved.

"Yeah, riiighttt.." he cutely rolled over his eyes. I could smell his parfume once again. He was using some flowerish odour... so lite... so nice.

I wanted to come out with a cool comeback but the bell rang and sensei enterd the door.

Hashirama smiled politely before walking past Mito and greeted her just before sitting.

His place was right beside her, on the following desk.

Sometimes... i thought that i could hook up with Toka. Maybe if i went into a relationship with her, i'd be able to go away from my thought... my gayish thoughts... but even then, she'd be the hurt one and i was going to be for sure murdered by Mito.

But come to think of it, i was willing to try such option.

* * *

At the end of school day i had to stay just a bit longer because of the library. I had to return back a book of theirs and get new one.

Making my way to the lockers, i noticed a girl standing as her upper boddy was hid from the open locker. Opening mine, just to put inside the new book i heard few sobs. Was she crying? Jeez... girls were so sensitive.

I was just about to close my locker when i heard cursing.

"Stupid, fucking Uchiha... always ruining my plans" it was Mito's voice.

The sobs became rapid but she was trying her best to be as quiet as possible.

"I hate it.. i hate it..." she sniffed and rubbed her nose.

Closing my locker, i starter approaching her when i froze.

What...?

"I hate it being in love with her..."

My lips parted from shock.

Did i hear correct?

The perfect girl and human being... The one with perfectly shaped face and green eyes, slim and tall figure.. the one with excellent marks, the most favourite to all teachers... the Uzumaki heir... was homo?

Just like...

me...?

I pressed my lips and my fists tightened.

With slow steps i was now right beside her. Slowly closing her locker i saw the angry tears rolling down her cheecks. Her eyes red from tears and maskara leacking down. But still... she was looking so beautiful, like a porcelain doll. No wonder why Hashirama was inlove with her for so long.

Her angry look immidiatelly narrowed down.

"What do you want?" hissing, she fastly hurried to wipe away her tears with palms.

"You..." i wasn't able to talk due my surprise.

"Me what?" i was sure that she thought i didn't hear anything. Oh, how wrong she was.

"You... you are lesbian?" i bearly asked.

Mito gasped and her whole face became pale.

"You... heard me?"i could read the shock written on her face. She started trebling as i nodded.

"Please, please, don't tell anyone!" she shook me by the shoulders.

She was so scared, so weak right now. As if new Mito was standing right in front of me.

I wondered.

Would i be the same? Would i be so scared and fear crossing throught my body if i had confessed to someone being gay?

I didn't need to ask somebody, i didn't even need time for the answer.

I knew it. I was sure.

I was going to be dreadly feared, even worse than Mito,

if someone had found out my secred.

I felt so pity for her,

and for myself.

And from that moment,

i felt her even closer friend than Hashirama.

Even closer than Izuna.

That was ridicilous,

but yet true.

* * *

 **Any reviews xD?**


	4. Chapter 4

**4**

The following day Mito had been trying her best to avoid me in every class.

I wanted to talk with her, but thought it's better if i act like nothing happened.

Not that I was willing to confess myself tho.

During one of the classes Hashirama's phone rang.

The whole class attention immidiately went on him.

"Hashirama, phone cell's should be closed during class" the teacher scolded him.

He smiled dorkly "Sorry sensei, it was father" he closed the call.

"Put it on mute and please, let this not repeat" the teacher continued on explaining us some stupid theories that i didn't even care to listen.

I saw Hashirama cursing under his breath. He was so adorable, that it made me smile.

Oh... my gayish thought were chasing me once again.

I saw that Mito had turned her head back and looking at me. My eyebrow rose in asking her "what".

She turned with face to the teacher, without saying or doing anything. Jeez... she was acting weird now. I'd prefet the violent Uzumaki ,rather than this weirdo.

* * *

When the class ended Hashirama hurried to go out of the room and call his father.

Mito's phone rang too. She answered it.

No soon Hashrama entered the class with a huge smile on his face.

"YESSSS" he had started to scream happily as some of our schoolmates started laughing and other asked him what was happening. He didn't explain quite good but said that one of his dream had became true. I knew him. He was like that. He could loose his speech whenever being too happy and enthusiasted. Adrenaline problems...

On the other hand, Mito came back with her face completely down. As if she had learnt the news of her own death.

I thought how both of them were the meaning of opposites. Yeah, saddnes and happiness.

* * *

During the next class Mito was silent. We had Chemistry and usually she'd be the one answering the most questions, but now it was as if she was dead. Whereas Hashirama was talking nonstop with his desk mate.

* * *

At the end of the day i sat in the school garden at some random bench, waiting Izuna.

Unfortunatelly he called me and told me he's hanging out with friends, apologising for waisting my time. I told him there's no problem.

As i was about to stand up i heard some group talking about Hashirama as they were passing by.

"You heard! Hashirama and Mito from class B2 are going to be couple!" some blond said.

"What? I don't understand?" her friend asked her.

"Neither i do! But they are going to be so cute! You know he had crush on her for soo long, and she's such a beauty!" the blonde said clapping her hand happily.

I stood like frozen. What were they talking about? I felt my world being collapsed... they.. were going to be a couple...

Not that i could change something, but... i didn't want him to belong to someone else. If i couldn't have him, then no one could.

I sighed in sadness, wanting to calm myself and let out the pressure that i was having on.

Suddenly, Mito was in front of me with teary eyes.

She sniffed and moved right beside me, sitting near.

"Did you hear? The whole school is talking about it" she said, sitting completely still, her look locked on the ground emotionless.

"Just... now" i loved my head right, looking at her.

"You... love him, don't you?"she asked me out of no where.

"I..." i was left speechelss. How did she know?

"I know. I saw today how you have been watching him. Not only today, but always. You always smile whenever he does"

"..." i didn't asnwer back.

"Why didn't you tell me back then?"

"I was scared"

"Scared of what?" our eyes met.

"Of being rejected" and betrayed probabbly.

"Oh boy.." her voice had started to shake "Do you know how i had been feeling..." her eyes filled up with more tears, her look tired.

"I know" my expression was blank.

She tilted her head, resting it on my shoulder as starting crying heavily.

"Our families... the Senju and Uzumaki..." she was trying to be as calm as possible "are bussines partners from long time ago and in order to strengthen the bond they want to force us into marrige. What am i supposed to do?"

"To stop crying because you will ruing your mascara" i tried to cheer her up, eventhough i was as broken as her.

"Not only my mascara, but my whole makeup" she sobbed and sniffed, removing her head from my shoulder.

"Here"i lend her a handkerchief. She took it.

"Thanks" Mito politely said, carefully takinga away the salty tears from her face. "What am i supposed to do now. I don't love him. All i want is Toka"

"But he loves you" i answered coldly, being jealous.

"I do not want his love, do you understand? I am giving it to you, take it."

This made me smile.

"Wanna get ice cream? This will sooth both of our feelings." i wanted to cry too but would be ridicilous if i had started. I was going to look like a real gay, like the one i am.

"Yes, i want." she nodded slighly, still sniffing.

"Come" i stand, lending my hand to help her.

She grabbed it.

* * *

"Okay, which flaveour do you like?" i asked, both standing in front of the window.

"Um..." she started thinking, as she put on her finger on the corner of her lip. "This one. The strawberry one"

"Hashirama's favourite is strawberry too, you'd be the prefect couple" i teasted her.

She rolled over her eyes. "Men with long hair are not my type, plus that, whenever we go on a clan-families parties, he'd choose the chocolate one. So you're doubble wrong"

"Oh.." so he had changed his taste. I took the chocolate one, my favourite.

"See... you're the perfect couple" she teased me, pushing me slightly on the shoulder with hers.

I smiled "Are you trying to offend the long haired males?" i spat.

She giggled.

"I will get some crisps"

"I thought you watch over your weight" my eyebrow rose.

"Not and today. Too depressed." she said before leaving me and going to search for crisps.

As i was about to leave some granny started talking to me.

"Son, could you please give me that box of ice cream?" she smiled at me and pointed it. It was on the last raft. And yeah... she was way too short.

Nodding, i grabbed it and gave it to her.

"Thanks. Was that your girlfriend?"she asked, grabbing the box from my hands.

"The redhead?" i was confused.

"Yes. The pretty girl"

"Um... no. She's just a friend..."

"Oh, no relationship?" she was asking way too much, as if she was FBI. Seriously?

"I am not into girls" i smiled but snapped back. SHIT. Why did have this to go out of my mouth?!

"Oh." i was ready to be judged "Don't worry son" she smiled once again "I am sure you will find the right boy to be your partner, and don't listen to people. Be who you are, no matter what" her smile became wider.

Was... she serious? I was about to say something as Mito came besides me.

"Ready?" she asked, now besides me, holding two bags of crisps.

I nodded "Yeah..."

"Is there something wrong?" she asked me, looking at me. "Who was she?'"

"Some stranged. Couldn't reach the ice cream so i helped her."

"You can be actually kind and polite."

"what?"

"You always seem anti social and creepy and scary"she laughed.

"Thanks for your honesty, your majesty" i gave her a sarcastic smile.

"Come on, let's pay and eat"

* * *

So the rest of my day was spent with her. We went to the park, eating and talking. I never thought she'd be such a great company. She was actually kinda nice... maybe that was the reason why Hashirama would really like her.

We both shared how we found out we're different.

She had always known it and had accepted herself the way she is. Unfortunatelly, no one knew. Even her father. She had been scared of him, because he might kick her out of the house.

"Hey, Madara. You know Senju, Uzumaki and Uchiha always go on alcoves, but i never saw you there. What's the reason?"

"I just don't feel comfortable there"

"Because you're different?" she asked me. I nodded.

"You want to come with me tomorrow night?"

"Would be glad" i could't believe how calm and good i was feeling around her. Probabbly because she was the only one i know like me.

* * *

 **Reviews? x3**


	5. Chapter 5

**5**

"Mito!" Toka chased after the redhead in the coridors, as i was standing in front of my open locker.

"Oh, hey." she immidiately smiled. That girl... sometimes it was way too obvious her sexuaity.

"I heard that Madara is coming tonight for the get-together, is it true?" the brunette asked.

"Yeah" Mito nodded, a bit of sad i guess.

"What do you think, shall i invite him to go with me?" Toka started jumping in happiness. Mito rolled over her eyes, but then smirked.

"Sorry, he's already with me."

"He likes you?"

"No, are you nuts?!"

"You two seem kinda close lately" she whishpered.

"No... Hey, actually... do you want to come with me? And we will send Madara with Hashirama?" Mito suggested winking at Toka. My eyes wide opened. The deal wasn't like that! She was playing unfair!

"Hmm.. okay. At least i won't be going all alone!" Toka chuckled.

"Yeah..." Mito smiled. Jeez... it was way too obvious! This girl shall control herself better! "So, meet me at my place at 8pm?"

"Sure" Toka nodded.

I was about to close my locker when someone else did it for me.

"Soo... you going with Mito?" it was Hashirama.

"Going where?" i felt blushing not because of the question but because he was way too close and i could feel his parfume... so nice so delight...

"Tonight" he frowned.

"Um-" he didn't let me finish.

"Aw maaan! You know i have liked her like for ages!" he looked on his right shouder to look at Mito "and you just get along with her from few days and already going out on dates?.. jeez man!"

"It's not a date.." i murmured. Oh, silly. How i wanted to go with you, insted of with Mito...

"Yeah... just look at her.. she's perfect" he looked kinda dreamy as he leaned on the locker, which was next to mine. "Look at her gorgeus hair.. and those beautiful green eyes... and those legs... nghh!" he started giggling out of nowhere. I felt bad...yes, but this made me smile because he was being so dorky.

"Yeah.. i see" i had to admit.

"Wait wait!" he shook me by the shoulders "Is she looking at me? Is she smiling? O M G! Is she coming towards us?! Hold me, hold me, im falling! My legs are melting! Arghhhhh!" he started being dramatic and panic as he held me for the right shoulder.

"Hey guys" Mito smiled politely "Watcha'doing?" she looked at me. "Not important. Just came to tell you that I am going with Toka tonight, so find someone else to go with, okay?"

"Um, okay... it's fine i guess?" i rolled my eyes over.

What a mischevious girl... coming when Hashirama's here...

"Hey Ash, are you alright?" she asked him.

"M-hmmm~" all what he could was stare.

"Okay..." she rose her eyebrows... guess she was thinking how i could be in love with this weirdo. "'Kay, see ya tonight" she waved and walked away.

"Aaaagh!" Hashirama started fangirling and jumping, "She came and talked with me." He was looking so ridicilous right now... but so cute. I should be the one fangirling "Wait man, are you smiling, O M G!"

Yeah, i foud myself smiling. "You should smile more, you have nice white teeth's, what toothpase you use dammnit?" i laughed.

I should sound manly, so the most dump prhase came out of my mouth "Ew man, are you gay? What kind of compliment was that?"

"I could be gay for you!" he joked, winking and laughing loudly.. but i was blushing! Got to get out, so i walked away.

"Wait! I was joking" he grabbed me by the shoulder and turned me around... thank god i wasn't blushing anymore.

"I know"

"Um... tonight wanna go together? Tobirama isn't coming, soo?"

"Yeah"

 _shit._ it went out of my mouth by mistake. I thought it was just my thoughts!

"Okay, come home around 9pm, will drive us with the car"

I nodded as Hashirama walked away from me singing to himself "She looked at me, she talked to me, oh boy, im so lucky~"

I smiled, and smiled even more. Inner me was screaming and fangirling and melting... all in one.

* * *

"You coming tonight?" Izuna asked me, puting on his jacket.

"Yeah" i nodded.

"Wow! This is the first time ever! Wait lemme' poke myself! Oh boy, it's real! No dreams!"

"Izuna, stop being so dramatic" i rolled over my eyes.

He laughed "Sorry, sorry. You ready?"

"Yeah"

"Let's go"

"Im going with Hashirama"

"Aw, you two already friends? Jeez, this was some big pause of your friendship. Can i come with you guys?"

This was a good idea, i wouldn't look so awkwards alone with him "Yeah, let's go"

"Where do you have this watch from, i never saw it before."

"Im not crazy to show you my belongings so you'd use them like ALWAYS."

"ha-ha-ha"

* * *

"Wait, is Tobirama coming?!" Izuna snapped out as i protested.

"No, don't worry."

"But he's starring at me from the window! Look!" he pointed as i laughed.

"He's far away don't worry."

"You'd be better be worrying because i will beat him!" and he started walking towards the window of the first floor.

I sighed what a second dork Izuna was.

I hoped that Hashirama would pop up fasted and end up those nonsences. Izuna and Tobirama were making faces to eachothe throught the window... sometimes i wondered if this was really my brother or he was more likely to be adopted... or maybe i was the adopted one since being different.

Hashirama walked out of the house having some good looks... i wondered how he smelled... so i took a deep breath and even if he was far away i could still smell the odour.. now it was more heavy scent.

"Ready?" he asked as he came besides me.

I nodded.

* * *

Anyways, it didn't took us too long to reach the place.

"The Uzumaki's house?" my eyebrows lifted. Izuna nodded.

"Yeah"

"Every meeting is being assembled in one of the three clan's houses" Hashirama explained. Oh yea... i remebered, that's why each time when they came along home i'd go to the library and waste the time there.

We walked out of the car and Mito greeted us in front of the door, welcoming everyone.

"Hey guys" she smiled and hugged me.

Izuna walked in the hous, giving me some evil glare, smirking "Nice shot nii-san" I was going to kill him for sure.

"Hey Mito!" Hashirama smiled brightly, standing right beside me.

"Your father is waiting you in the house, come" she told him, as he entered.

Standing only us in front of the door i saw her dress. Army green. "I like your outfit... that color matches perfectly your eyes"

"You think?" she fowned "I don't know" she tuned back "I think it's kind of relieving my skin" yeah, her back was bare, but she had good one.

"Wait, what? You have tattoo?!" i spat.

"Yeah, made it a year ago... a sign of my sexuality" it was a bird. Guess freedom? Freedom of herself? Accepting herself as she was?

"It's nice one" i ran my fingers throught it.

"Ah, stop! Your fingers are cold"

"Brother, stop flirting and come inside!" Izuna screamed throught the window "Everyone's awaiting you!"

"Come on, your majesty, let's get going" i joked as i lend my hand to her, as if she was a princess. Actually, yes she was.

"Oh, thank you.. my prince" she bowed and lifted a bit her long dress with her arm and chuckled, catching my palm in hers.

* * *

Gathering around the table, Mito sat beside me, as Hashirama was on my left side. Toka was right beside Mito and they wouldn't stop talking.

Izuna was having conversations with some people that i didn't even know they existed.

Suddenly Mito's father stood up and help a glass of red wine in his hand.

"Everyone, please, attention."

Everyone stopped talking and focused on him.

My look moved at Mito, she was staring at her lap, at her hands that didn't stop to play nerviously.

"I gathered you tonight to tell you something important, for the both of Senju's and Uzumaki's future"

Hashirama's father stood up too.

"As we all know crisis is coming along, in order to strengthen our bussiness bond, we are proudly announcing that.." he made a dramatic pause.

Why everyoen was so dramatic?

"That I am going to marry my own and only daughter for the Senju's leader son, Hashirama Senju"

Everyone started clapping, and applausing. Most of the people stood up, to clap even louder.

I looked at Hashirama... he was brightly smiling.. as for Mito... she was sadly staring at her fingers.

She lifted her head and made eye contact with me. Her eyes full of dissapointment.

"You alright?" i asked quietly.

"Yeah"

"Come on cheer up, this expression doesen't fit your pretty face" i tried my best to soothe her.

She smiled sadly. "I'd think the same" and a loud sigh came out of her mouth. The next thing she did was to stand up too.

"Thanks to everyone who had came tonight to honor us, me and my family... and my future spouse" she tried her best to smile as happily as possible but i could read the pain on her face.

Everyone smiled and clapped even harder as Mito looked at her father and smiled more.

Jeez... these things sucked. I hoped that father wouldn't marry me for some random girl.

"Exuce me, i have to go to the toilet" she whishpered at Toka, as Toka nodded.

Mito walked out of her seat and headed to the other rooms. I knew she wasn't going to the toilet but rather to her room, or some other place to sit and cry.

When everything became calmer and everyone sat back on their seats, contiuing to eat, i stood up too.

"Where you going?" Hashirama asked.

"To the toilet" i whishpered back as he nodded.

Walking way, i started to search Mito's room.

Found it. Not that i knew which one was but because the door was slightly opened, it was dark and i could hear few sobs.

Without knocking i entered as she hurrined to wipe away her tears.

"It's me" i said quietly and sat beside her on the bed.

"Oh, it's just you" she sniffed and took a deep breath.

"You alright?" i asked once again as she nod. "No, you're not alright."

Mito became quiet for a moment "Yeah..i am not okay" and she burried her face in her plams, starting to cry once again.

"Hey, don't be down. Your fate is like that"

"No, my fate is not like that. I am the one who builds up my fate and i won't give up" she said through whimps.

"Sometimes you cant protest against life, you know? Like we don't choose what to be, expecially who to be." i slightly pushed her by the shoulder "Don't be down, you have me, Toka, everyone... your family"

"Yeah right, as if everyone understands me so easily as you do"

"Hm" i smiled. "Yeah..."

"Hey, have you ever kissed?"she lifter her face to ask me.

"Where did that come from?"

"Just distract me somehow... amuse me"

"Your make up is ruined"

"Wow, i have never been more amused"

I laughed. "You look horrible"

"Shut up" she frowned

"No, i have never kissed anyone, and you?" i answered, being completely honest.

"Just my tedddy bear, imageing that it's Toka"

I laughed once again.

"You're funny"

"Thanks, just like my life" she frowned. "Hey, come here. Let's train"

"What?" she approached me and caught my face.

"Stay still!"

"Are you crazy?" i pushed her arms away.

"What, we are both attracted by our gender. So i don't see a problem."

"You loook too horrible and ugly right now to be kissed"

"Haven't you ever wondered if Hashirama's lips taste like candy or honey? Or? Something fresh like pineapple or idk? Since he always smells so nice.." Mito stared wondering "I wonder what what kind of Toka's lips taste like"

Actually... yeah. I wondered if Hashirama's lips tasted like cotton candy.. since he always liked eating some.

"Madara, let's try it" she insisted.

"No!" i protested.

"Come on! It will be awkard when you kiss Hashirama and don't know even how to do it propperly!"

Maybe she was right "Yeah, as if i will have the chance to do it"

"Shut up" she caught me by the chin and forced her lips on mine.

She parted away and laughed "You're a horrible kisser"

"I could s-" and i was cutt of when i felt someone's persence on the door behind us.

"M-mito?" Toka whishpered, her eyes watery. Hashirama was standing besides her. _Daaamnnnnn!_

This moment i cursed all my life!

Mito jumped from her seat "It's not what you think-" before she could finish her sentance, Toka ran away... i think she as crying. As for Hashirama he stood frozen right there and starring at us. I guess he hated me for kissing his... crush and future wife?

But wha kind of wife?! We were only 17 and it was insane marrying at such age!

"Tch" Hashirama frowned and walked away, giving me an evil glare.

"Shit!" Mito cursed under mouth and corossed her arms in front of her chest. "Guess now the wedding will be cancaled"

"Yeah, so and our friendships with them"

what a troublemaker Mito was...


	6. Chapter 6

**6**

The following day turned out to be pretty bad... well, at least for me.

Hashirama would always avoid eye contact during our classes, which was kinda unusual for him. Or even if he did, they would be deadly glares.

As for Mito, Toka wouldn't be so affected.

 _~Flashback_

 _I was talking with Mito about the embarassing situation._

 _"And now what?" i asked nerviously._

 _"Seriously, i don't care. I am sure Hashirama would be hurt and the marrige would_ _be cancalled."_

 _"And Toka?" I asked, as her eyes started wandering around, a bit of sad, as she sighed._

 _Mito was about to say something when the blue-eyed girl appeared behind me._

 _"Mito, can we talk?" Toka spoke, avoiding eye-contact, her eyes locked on the floor. I could spot Mito's eyes litting in happiness. She nodded and both walked away, making sure to be far enough in order of being secretive. Unfortunatelly, they were wrong._

 _"You know..." Toka spoke but got cut off._

 _"No, I shall speak. I am sorry. I know you had been in love with Madara for years, and I... I..."_

 _"No" Toka smiled encouragesly, putting her hand on the redhead's shoulder "There's nothing wrong, you don't have to apologise" she removed her hand "I wanted to speak to you because of that" Toka crossed her arms in front of her own chest and slightly blushed "I... I think i like someone else"_

 _Mito curled up her eyebrows in confusion "Really?... Who?"_

 _"Umm..." Toka murmured something under her breath that i wasn't able to hear._

 _Mito's eyes wide opened, so did and her mouth "Him?!" the redhead sighed, i could feel her being angry._

 _"Yes, is there something wrong?"_

 _The Uzumaki leaned her back on the lockers and closed her eyes, resting on it. "No" she smiled "Not at all" her eyes now opened, i felt anger._

 _Toka grabbed Mito's palms in her owns. "He's so amazing and handsome! But he's younger! You think he will like me? Will this be a problem? Jeez! I feel so frustrated!"_

 _Mito chuckled and with few fingers of hers, she put some of Toka's flowing hairs behind her ear. Sometimes she was acting way too intimate! Seriously girl, get your mind!_

 _"Silly.. i don't see any problems... of course he will like you" her smile didn't dissapear, even if it was one of dissapointment._

 _"You think? I don't know but-"_

 _"Toka, i have to go. Can we talk later?"_

 _"Yea, sure" Toka had a broad smile on her face as Mito walked back to me. My hands put in my pockets, i stood still as Mito passed towards me._

 _"Let's go" she quetly whishpered, her voice shaking._

 _I obeyed, as we headed back home, since we took the same route. However, I didn't bother to ask her anything, thinking it was too personal and not the time for it._

 _~End of flashback_

Right now i was sitting in my most comfortable zone- the library, my head and mind burried into a random History book.

Being lost in the lines, some papper was thrown in front of me on the table. I lifted up my head, just to see Hashirama's emotionless face.

"The teacher told me to give it to you" and without any words, he walked awa., The was papper left there, as my eyes scanned it. Another History competition. Great. At least i will burry my heand in the books until i forget about my miserable life and existance.

My gaze moved back to Hashirama, who was now standing in front of some raft, havin Botanic book in his hands. I exaled... and felt his fresh aroma... so fresh and how nice... amazing. I was kinda dissapointed... it hurted being the ignored one.

"Whatever..." i whishpered to myself and got back to my reading but felt a slight touch on my shoulder. Turning back my head and saw Mito.

"Can I sit?" she asked and actually... made herself a place near my ass.

"Um, as if i gave allowance...anyways, you already sat"

It was kind of some joke and i was awating back nd answer, but it was as if i spoke to a dead person. "What's wrong?"

"You know who Toka likes?" she threw her arms on the table and burried her face in them. "Yu bothe" she murmured something.

"Who?" i asked once again leaving the book on my left side.

"Yourth bothe" she murmured once again, head burried in hands.

"Jeez ginger, what language are you speaking?" I sighed.

Out of no where, she rose her head and screamed right into my face "Your brother, you jackass! Your brother! Izuna!" i could feel everyone looking at us in the librry.

"Damn it Mito" i whishpered "Don't be so loud!" i scolded her.

"Mhph!" she puffed.

My gaze moved to Hashirama who was looking right into us... his glare deadly... sying something... i could read his lips.

 _Bastard.._

Bitting my lips, i felt awful but had to distrct myself so turned back to Mito "From where do you know?"

"She told me yesterday when we were in front of the lockers" she sighed, leaning her head on my shoulder to rest.

"I see" with the corner of my eyes i felt Hashirama's piercing eyes... no soon he left.

"Um, Mito... can you excuse me?" i stood up.

"Sure, will wait you here" she said, getting out her phone out of her bag and opening Insagram and Tumblr and Snapchat... jeez... she was fameous for sure, but what could you await from her majesty, The Uzumaki heir... the great Mito Uzumaki.

I chuckled to myself before leaving the library.

I was searcching for Hashirama... i had to explain him everything, well not that im gay, but something similar to it, that there's nothing between me and Mito.

My eyes seeked for him in every room... the last option was the backyard.

Bingo!

He was there.

I approached him "Hashirama?" he didn't even bother to turn back at me... he was doing my tricks. "Can we talk?" i asked once again, now a bit of louder.

"What is it" he was sitting on some bench and reading the same Botanic book. "I have a test to study for"

"I wanted to tell you about Mito and me that there's no-" before being able to finish i felt myself hitting the fench. His elbow on my throat.

"Don't you even dare to talk me about both of you, you piece of trash" his words more piercing that any other blade.

I felt sad but at the same tame anger, rage... for being in love with him.. for being different.

"Listen you brat" i threathened him and backed up, grabbing him for the collar "I don't care for the girl, there's someone else i like and have been in love with, so don't you dare to blame me"

He smirked "Oh really" his hands now on my hands, trying to get away "I see what kind of friend are you, stealing girlfriends"

"Girlfriend? She was and is not your girlfriend! Stop blinding yourself, a girl like her wouldn't go for a jerk like you, you are below her standarts and level" i felt angry, my voice rising, now shouting.

"Probabbly the great Uchiha is? Too bad you're cursed and have no fortune in anything, even love, even life, in generall... happiness!" he hit me on the face as i fell down.

Yea, he was right. We WERE cursed, or at least people said so and it became cannon. You know, a lie repeaded hunder time becomes truth.

I didn't have happy life, just because being different.

I could feel the metalic taste in my mouth, my lip bleeding.

I stood and was about to hit him really hard and beat, for making me in love with him, but Mito came screaming.

"Guys, please, stop!" i realized people had surrounder us.

Hashirama backed up, laughing. "See, you win, as always" and turned around, leaving both of us.

At first Mito's eyes were locked on him, but then fastly turned back on me "You're bleeding!" she gasped, handing me a handkerchief. I took it.

"Thanks" I murmured.

My brother came beside me "I will fucking kill him, but first will die Tobirama!" I could see how angry Izuna was. He was serious for sure. In a stupid and ridicilous way. "Will find those Senju bastards and ******-"

"Stop cursing Izuna" Mito frowned.

"Don't, it's a waste of time. We don't mind our bussiness with thrashes, expecially Senju"

"Are you alright?" Mito asked once again.

I nodded.

"God, what happened?" it was Toka.

"Your stupid cousin hit my brother, are you guys insane? Or what?" he was really screaming and yelling at her face.

"Hey, don't blame me" Toka pressed her lips to eachother. In dissapointment?

"Izuna, stop screaming at her, it's not her fault" Mito colded him. I could assume she was angry for him being so mean with Toka.

"Um, Izuna... i wanted to ask you something-"

"Not not, i am super angry!" he puffer and walked away "Will find Tobirama and beat the crap out of him" he was cursing till his way.

Mito giggled "You sure are insane"

 _Yea.. insane for the people we love._

"Let's go to the doctor" Mito suggested but i shook my head in rejection. I didn't want any more troubles with Mito and Hashirama.

"No, thanks. I will go on my own, you stay with Toka... we made too much audiance"

She shook her head in agreement, probabbly realizing the situation.

Actually, i wasnt going to the doctor.

I was going home, didn't care for the lessons and school.

I felt like a crap, like a shit, so wasted...so hurted.

Because Hashirama was right.

I was cursed,

and i was never going to be happy.

Not and in that life.


	7. Chapter 7

**7**

 ** _Mito's view_**

The whole frustating situation between Hashirama and Madara got me really upset. I had never thought that they could actually quarrel ever.

All that fall out today's evening didn't leave me on peace. I tried many times to contact Madaras but without any cuccess. He never picked up his phone.

Putting on my shoes and jacked, i walked out of house and headed towards his. My mind couldn't get rid of the fact that everything got fucked up just because of me.

* * *

Knocking few times on the door, Izuna opeden.

"Is Madara at home?" I asked, looking at his face closer than ever, now knowing why Toka would like him. He was handsome for sure.

"He was but left a hour ago."

"Do you know where he is?"

"Have no idea. He usually doesen't go out at that time. Plus that, today he seemed kinda upset."

I nodded in agreement. "Will he be back soon?"

"Got no idea. Why are you so interested? You are his new girlfriend now?" Izuna asked kinda intrigued.

My eyebrows rose up in surprisement. "No? Why would you say such thing?"

"I don't know" he rolled his eyes "the rumors say so"

"Rumors?" i asked even more surprised.

"Yeah. You know-" i interrupted him, not wanting to know any more details because i already had a hint what he might say.

"Okay, okay. No need any more useless information. Need to go." I smiled politely at him as he rolled his eyes once again and murmured something under his breath before closing the door.

Tapping my toes on the floor nervously and my arms locked in front of my chest, i wondered where Madara could go.

Caffe? But with whom?

The park? For a walk? ... It was about to get dark, so that didn't seem like an option.

The library? But school already closed.

I cursed, having no idea where he could go.

"Yes!" I hit the floor with my foot in realization "The local library!" a broad smile appeared on my face. "It's always open."

* * *

Taking each step faster than the previous one, i was already in front of the Local Library.

"Hello" I entered, greeting the librarian as she smiled in response "I would like to ask if Madara Uchiha is signed here"

Taking some time and searching for his name in the information she nodded in agreement.

"Is he here?" i asked now with encouregment.

"No. Last time he was signed in was three days ago."

I hit the floor with my foot in rage. A bad habit of mine. I thanked her politely and went out of the library.

For god sake, where could he be?! Sad for my unsucced, I headed back home. All i wanted to do was talk with him and try to fix the situation. Maybe he was trying to hide from me because he hated me? Because now his relationship with Hashirama had worsen up? But that would be stupid, because anyways, they weren't in any good one.

Walking home and having my look locked on the floor, i felt not only sad, but also mad. Mad at Hashirama, for liking me. Mad at me, for liking Toka. Mad at everything.

Suddenly I heard a familiar voice. Hashirama.

The streets were lonely and it was already dark so i couldn't see the figure wether it was his or not. Walking towards me, it was really him talking on the phone with someone.

My stomach felt sick for some reason. I felt sorry for him, because i litteraly broke his heart. But i felt even sadder for Madara, because now Hashirama was mad at the Uchiha because of me.

Now, few santimeters far away from me, Hashirama stood up and put his hands in his jeans.

"Hey" i could feel the dissapointment in his voice, however, his desire for me hadn't dissapeared.

I took a deep breath as my feelings mixed up and my brain felt big pressure. I wanted to beat up Hashirama so bad for accusing Madara of something that wasn't his fault. Yet, I felt sorry for that fool for lovin me and had the urge to soothen everything by hugging him.

"Now you won't talk to me because you're with Madara?" he laughed quietly.

"You are serious?!" i felt everything bottling up, every nerv of mine going insane.

"Me being serious? I am never serious" did it have to sound like a joke, because clearly the whole setup wasn't fun, for sure "You should just have said you didn't want to have anything with me because now our clans feel odd for eachother. I might say even shameful" he laughed once again.

And that was the moment when i lost it.

"Listen what you little brat" i spat angrily, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him into some dark alley so no one could hear us. "First of all, I am no obligated to marry anyone if i don't want to. Just because my twisted father is obssesed with money and power, doesen't give him the right to control my life. Secondly, since when your ego is so fragile, turning you into one of those bullies? Last but not least, i do not love you and you can't force me to have any feelings for you. And lastly, i am not into boys"

My whole body was under so much tension. I could feel my veins furiously popping out out of my arm, my teeth nearly smashing eachother from anger and chest full of air as i needed to say everything at once.

"Wait.." he seemed super confused and put his arm on mine so he could free himself from my grip. "You... you?"

I stepped back, breathing heavily, air not enough for my lungs. "Me! Yes me! I am lesbian! You jerk!" I felt my fingers running though my hair as he was driving me crazy.

"I... I.." he seemed out of words "I do not know what to say.."

"You don't have to!" i tried to calm myself down.

"And that's the reason why you have been avoiding me?"

"Avoiding you? I had never avoided you, i just never responded to your feelings. Like to every other boy."

"God" he facepalmed himself "and i thought something was wrong with me" he laughed. But it wasn't fun for me at all because now he knew my biggest secret, and what was even more, he was very close to my family. He could gossip about it anytime, to anyone.

"Listen what" i took a deep breath "If you-"

"Now everything gets clearly!" he nodded "since little you had never showed interest in any boy and all the opportunities you had for boyfriends, you always dodged, no matter how good they were. You always felt brighter and more free whenever being in a company of girls, even if that's something normal.. yet... Yet i don't understand whyt you kissed Madara that night?" he rubbed his forehead.

I couldn't tell him the real reason for it, nor i wanted to share that i loved Toka.

"I just... wanted to make sure if i am really a lesbian by kissing a boy"

"I see" he nodded "but Madara likes you?"

"No!"

"How are you so sure?"

How was i able to tell him that Madara thinks only for him, and that no one can tame his heart if it's not Hashirama.

"Because Madara likes someone else." i sighed, delicately runnig away from the actual answer.

"Aha. And are you actually a lesbian?" he was testing my nervs for sure.

"Yes i am"

"Who does Madara like?" why was Hashirama so curious?

"Look, i am not the one to answer those question. Go find Madara and ask yourself!" i was about to go but he grabbed me by the arm and stopped me.

"Wait, let me apologise by getting you a coffee."

"It's a little bit late for coffee" i rapidly got away from his grip.

"Come on, don't be so evil and just agree on."

I sighed, nodding "Okay. And no tricks of flirting, I would never date someone like you"

"Like me?" he seemed confused.

"A male"

He laughed


End file.
